i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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