Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
