okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
