did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
