Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
