i just had sex bonerless
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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