Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
