And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
