Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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