There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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