See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
