I think I died a long time ago.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
