Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
