i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
