I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
