there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
