so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
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I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack