Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
