i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings