I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There r osticjed everywhere
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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