I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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