fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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