Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just google imaged poop.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He better not be in your backpack
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
