tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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