this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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