and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
