I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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