somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
