I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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