i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
wat bout pragnant strippers??
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
