We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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