i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
