please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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