So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
