On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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