I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
