I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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