New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
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I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize