She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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