She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
