If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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