I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize