there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
