i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
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Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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