Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
