Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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