I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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