Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
