Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
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So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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