No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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