Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
