i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
