her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
