one two three fourrrrnication!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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