Me too!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
