she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
