She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
