The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize