i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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