You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
