I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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