Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Randomize
